How I'm Learning to Love Myself Again

By Denise M

 











When I sat in silence and couldn't recall the last time I felt complete, I didn't realize how far I had deviated from who I was. Life took place. Motherhood happened. Pain happened. And somewhere between surviving and holding everything together, I forgot how to love the woman in the mirror. I had forgotten to think about the woman in the mirror. The woman I saw when I looked into that mirror was somebody else. It wasn't me! There and then I knew I was lost. I knew that something in me was gone and I wanted it back.

Loving yourself might seem very hard to do but it isn't. Most of us, beg and nag to be loved but no one can love you if you don't love yourself. Firstly love the person you are then everyone will follow. Everytime you look into the mirror and see a complete stranger, just sit down and reflect. What changed? What happened? How can I help become myself? What can be changed? Answer these questions about yourself then know the way forward.

What changed?

When looking into the mirror who or what do you see? Is it the same person you were years back or its somebody else? If you see someone or something you don't know and not like. Ask yourself what changed? And what changed you? Was it stress, money, relationships, work or what?

The answers you get here will help you answer your next question: What happened?

What happened?

Now ask yourself what happened? What led you to be the person you see in the mirror? What are the key points in your life that changed you and made you the person you are today?

What had happened to you? Did you have a major problem or change that led to your current struggles?

If answered then the next question is what can I do to become myself again?

What can I do to become myself again?

How can you become your old self. What can you do or change. Something that you've been doing and has completely changed you. What can you change about your current life that'll make you look beautiful, confident and personable. 

If possible write these things down. Implement them one at a time and watch yourself blossom to the beautiful new person you want to be.

Here are some of the things you can do that'll help:

  • Try journaling your thoughts on your notebook. Writing down your feeling will help lift a lot of weight on you and make you feel lighter. Journal won't judge you, you just pour down your thoughts and feelings. It'll help you feel better about yourself.
  • Eat healthy. Eating healthy food will help your mind to rest and relax. Your body will feel better and make you feel confident in yourself.
  • Drink lots of water. Water help with hydration. Staying hydrated make you focus more and feel energized and ready.
  • Sleep well and sleep early. Having an early night helps with body and mind relaxation. 
  • Wake up early if possible and watch the sunrise. Starting a new day with something as beautiful as sunrise helps make your day productive.
  • Smile a lot and spend time with people you love and make you feel loved. People who make you feel better about yourself. Those who make you feel unseen and unloved, don't focus on them, distance yourself from them and love yourself more.
  • Reduce screen time. Being online is good and very popular these days but if you reduce your screen time and limit your social media interaction more of your stress will reduce. Social media can make you depressed if used to much because you'll ask yourself what is wrong with you when you see others posting their achievements.
  • Love yourself more 

I have been here too. I would cry daily and question my self-worth. This is not a story of perfection. It is a tale of transformation. Of choosing softness after silence. Of learning, day by day, to come back home to myself. I had to pick myself up and start again. Be me again! I had to love myself before everything.

Rekindling my love for myself has not been loud. It’s not bubble baths or fancy mantras.

 It all started with me not judging my pain. Some days, I wake up feeling like I’m too much. On other days, I feel inadequate. But I’m learning to sit with both versions of myself — and offer grace instead of criticism.

 I have resumed keeping a journal. Not because I have the answers, but because my heart needs a safe place to speak.

 I’ve stopped apologizing for resting. I'm telling myself that just because I'm tired doesn't mean I'm lazy; rather, it just means I'm human. I’m learning to say no, to ask for help, to feel my feelings without guilt. Although they may appear insignificant, these are acts of radical love.

I don’t have it all figured out — but I no longer expect myself to.

 Learning to love myself again means unlearning all the ways I was taught to shrink, to stay quiet, to always pour from an empty cup.

 If you’re also trying to find your way back to yourself… I see you. I support you. And I swear: which version of yourself are you becoming? Her wait is well worth it.

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🌸 And never forget — we are becoming together.

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